Day Fifteen

This is how this blog is going to proceed, in real time with no edits.

I feel fine this morning, despite having woken up two hours early and then experiencing some disturbed sleep. I believe I'm still drinking at a level where mild withdrawal symptoms are showing up as the alcohol wears off. I have no other physical effects, however. I was surprised at how little I did end up drinking last night, leaving approximately 1/4 of my 375ml bottle untouched. My intake seemed slower than normal and the odd taste I experienced early on in this treatment seems to have returned.

------ I'm now going to separate my multiple entries for a day by an indicator like that, and a time stamp.

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1917
I have already consumed all of last night's amount at this point at 19:17. It went down quickly. I haven't eaten all day except for a Carl's Jr. Original Six Dollar Burger I was eating along with this drinking. The last bit went down quick. I don't know what's going to happen from here. Hold on. I might add info...

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1936
Yeah, walked down the docks. This hit me hard. Not good, ran into everyone I know. I did actually help a racing boat pull in. Not well, though. Shit, I'm in bad-ish shape. And it's early.

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1945
I'm wrecked. But I'm still lucid, so what am I going to do? And I don't feel so good... It's all localized in my head right now. Am I tired? Should I go to bed? Smoking a cigarette did NOT help. I need a minute to figure out what's going on. Maybe I should call someone who knows what I'm doing...

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1959
OK. My head's coming back to me at this point. I feel better, but still drunk. I'm beginning to feel rundown more than anything, but I don't want to go to bed early, because I cannot stand being up too early with nothing to do. Haven't had another drink since 1917's post.

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2021
The thought of having another drink just isn't appealing. I'm looking at it and I know I should want it, but I just don't. I took my Nal at 1800, and started drinking at 1900 and I have no idea how all of this has happened in just 90 minutes. I feel like very little time has passed and that drinking almost 300ml of vodka in that time should have almost incapacitated me, yet I do honestly feel nearly completely lucid at this point.

The feeling of drunkenness I had at 1936 has been significantly reduced. I'm not sure of the cause of that, but I'm presuming smoking a cigarette intensified the effect, as I tend not to smoke when I drink because it just makes me feel slightly ill and more buzzed. I'm inclined to say that episode and the resultant 20 minutes of feeling ill were due to smoking while walking down the dock.

NOTE TO SELF: QUIT SMOKING, IDIOT.

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2041
I'm looking at the bottle and considering another drink, but each time I reach for it, a mild "gag" happens, and I can't do it. I know I could force myself through that if I wanted to, and I'm about to try now to see what happens...

That was about the most forced thing I've ever done. It went down alright, but it was completely artificial. I think  I may end up finishing my normal 375ml bottle tonight, but why I'm completely lucid at this point having consumed what I would normally consume in 1/3 the time is beyond me. The first 3/4 of my usual night's imbibing happened in 17 minutes, and the rest has been at a rate of about one shot per hour (my math skills may be off). At this rate, I'll still be three hours early when I've consumed it all.

A 375ml bottle of vodka usually takes me to blackout in a night over three hours. This feels like the "honeymoon" period, but just with more intake.

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2158
Just went and talked with the neighbors on the next boat over for a while. I guess I felt that since I was feeling better I should go talk with them since I know they knew I was drunk earlier. I must explain these people are essentially my adoptive parents out here since my real parents are in the mid-west, and that's their self-proclaimed role (GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!). Kidding.

At this point, I think it's difficult for me to judge how drunk I am and how it appears to others. I'll be asking my neighbors tomorrow about visible effects and things like that when I've sobered up. I think that may be an important indication of how alcohol actually affects me. I have now real indication on the correlation at this time.